What Causes Anger?

Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure caused by some type of grievance that is either real or perceived to be real by a person. The cognitive behavior theory attributes anger to several factors such as past experiences, behavior learned from others, genetic predispositions, and a lack of problem-solving ability. To put it more simply, anger is caused by a combination of two factors: an irrational perception of reality ("It has to be done my way") and a low frustration point ("It's my way or no way"). Anger is an internal reaction that is perceived to have a external cause. Angry people almost always blame their reactions on some person or some event, but rarely do they realize that the reason they are angry is because of their irrational perception of the world. Angry people have a certain perception and expectation of the world that they live in and when that reality does not meet their expectation of it, then they become angry.

It is important to understand that not all anger is unhealthy. Anger is one of our most primitive defense mechanisms that protects and motivates us from being dominated or manipulated by others. It gives us the added strength, courage, and motivation needed to combat injustice done against us or to others that we love. However, if anger is left uncontrolled and free to take over the mind and body at any time, then anger becomes destructive.

Why We Need to Control Anger

What Causes Anger?

Just like a person who is under the control of a street drug---a person under the influence of anger cannot rationalize, comprehend, or make good decisions because anger distorts logical reasoning into blind emotion. You become unable to think clearly and your emotions take control of your actions. Physiologically speaking, anger enacts the fight or flight response in our brain, which increases our blood pressure and releases adrenaline into our bloodstream, thereby increasing our strength and pain threshold. Anger makes us think of only two things: (1) Defend, or (2) Attack. Neither of these options facilitates a good negotiation.

Internal Sources of Anger

Our internal sources of anger come from our irrational perceptions of reality. Psychologists have identified four types of thinking that contribute to anger.

1. Emotional reasoning. People who reason emotionally misinterpret normal events and things that other people say as being directly threatening to their needs and goals. People who use emotional reasoning tend to become irritated at something innocent that other people tell them because they perceive it as an attack on themselves. Emotional reasoning can lead to dysfunctional anger in the long run.

2. Low frustration tolerance. All of us at some point have experienced a time where our tolerance for frustration was low. Often stress-related anxiety lowers our tolerance for frustration and we begin to perceive normal things as threats to our well-being or threats to our ego.

3. Unreasonable expectations. When people make demands, they see things as how they should be and not as they really are. This lowers their frustration tolerance because people who have unreasonable expectations expect others to act a certain way, or for uncontrollable events to behave in a predictable manner. When these things do not go their way, then anger, frustration, and eventually depression set in.

4. People-rating. People-rating is an anger-causing type of thinking where the person applies a derogatory label on someone else. By rating someone as a "bitch" or a "bastard," it dehumanizes them and makes it easier for them to become angry at the person.

External Sources Of Anger

There are a hundreds of internal and external events that can make us angry, but given the parameters of a negotiating situation, we can narrow these factors down to four general events.

1. The person makes personal attacks against us. The other side attacks you along with the problem in the form of verbal abuse.

2. The person attacks our ideas. The other side chops down our ideas, opinions, and options.

3. The person threatens our needs. The person threatens to take away a basic need of ours if they do not get their way i.e. "I'll make sure you'll never work in this city again."

4. We get frustrated. Our tolerance level for getting things done might be low or affected by any number of environmental factors in our lives.

Factors That Lower Our Frustration Tolerance

1. Stress / Anxiety. When our stress-level increases, our tolerance for frustration decreases. This is why there are so many domestic disputes and divorces over financial problems.

2. Pain. Physical and emotional pain lowers our frustration tolerance. This is because we are so focused on taking care of our survival needs, that we do not have time for anything or anyone else.

3. Drugs / Alcohol. Drugs and alcohol affect how our brain processes information and can make a person more irritable or bring forward repressed emotions or memories that can trigger anger.

4. Recent irritations. Recent irritations can also be called "having a bad day." It's the little irritations that add up during the course of the day that lower our tolerance for frustration. Recent irritations can be: stepping in a puddle, spilling coffee on your shirt, being late for work, being stuck in a traffic jam, having a flat tire.

Recognizing the Physiological Signs of Anger

By recognizing the physiological signs of anger, we can attune ourselves to know when it is time to take measures to make sure that our level of anger does not get out of control. Here are some symptoms of anger:

1. Unconscious tensing of muscles, especially in the face and neck.

2. Teeth grinding

3. Breathing rate increases dramatically

4. Face turns red and veins start to become visible due to an increase in blood pressure

5. Face turns pale

6. Sweating

7. Feeling hot or cold

8. Shaking in the hands

9. Goosebumps

10. Heart rate increases

11. Adrenaline is released into your system creating a surge of power.

Am I Right to be Angry?

Damn right you are. You have your own perception and expectation of the world that you live in and when the reality that you live in fails to meet your expectations, then yes you have the right to be angry. Afterall, if everyone thought alike, then the world would be a pretty dull place to live. You are going to run into situations that you don't enjoy. You are going to run into people who don't respect your views and ideas. The feeling of anger is totally justified according to your beliefs and so don't repress or deny those feelings.

Having to right to feel angry does not mean that you have the right to lash out in anger by attacking the other person. You can't change the views of other people to conform to your own because, like you, they have their own right to uphold their view of the world. The best thing you can do is recognize your anger and focus it on the problem instead of your counterpart.

Key Points

Being angry or frustrated is just like being under the influence of a drug. It prevents you from rationalizing and thinking logically.

Anger is caused by a combination of an irrational perception of reality and a low frustration point.

Anger is a natural response and you have every right to be angry, but you must learn to keep that anger in check during a negotiation because once you react in any negotiation, then you lose the agreement.

What Causes Anger?
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Tristan J. Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit the Street Negotiation website at http://www.streetnegotiation.com or contact tristan at: tristan@streetnegotiation.com

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Fun Basketball Drills For Kids

I was thinking of ways to really get my team of elementary kids to really start enjoying themselves in practice and so I came up with some fun basketball drills for kids. I stopped to ask myself, OK you're a kid, what do you want out of life? #1 I want to have a good time. The way they work is by playing. #2 I want to learn something. I think this is the key to getting good results, combining the two. Lets face it we aren't going to get results if we just drive them into the ground, this goes for all ages, but especially for kids. So here's what I did. I came up with a list of things needed to combine fun with regular fundamental drills. I use these at the beginning of the season and then pull them out in the middle when I need to switch things up a little.

#1 Competition

Divide the teams up and make them compete against each other in the drills. Don't just scrimmage them, get them working together in team skills competitions. Make the losing group run two extra conditioning drills at the end of practice.

Fun Basketball Drills For Kids

#2 Two Step Pass

Have one team on the left side or the court, one team on the right. In groups of two players per team, have them advance the ball down the court by passing the ball to each other. The catch is that they can take no more than 2 steps at a time. Count out loud, advance the ball, take two steps, catch the ball, repeat. Winner is the team who gets their entire line across the gym first.

#3 The Path

Have the team line up in a winding pattern across the gym, each player with a ball. The end of the path, will as quickly as possible, works his way through down the path dribbling the ball low with his head up watching where he is going. Once the player gets to the end of the path, the new end of the path will do the same. This continues until you have worked your way through the team. This is a great drill to get a feel for what its like to maneuver through traffic.

#4 Pin Ball

This is a great drill to teach movement off the ball. Pin 3 wooden clothes pins on the back of each jersey. Say go and in a confined area, the players must grab as many other players clothes pins within a minute. The winner is the player who has grabbed the most pins.

#5 Scramble

On command, everyone drops ball and runs to half court or bleachers, etc. and returns. While the players are running, coach removes one ball. Player without ball is out. With fewer players, start to reduce area. Think of this as musical chairs but on the court.

#6 Get the Players Input

One of the best ways to get kids involved is to let them develop a game out of a drill you want them to preform. no matter how ridiculous it seems, let them explain and run the game. This not only promotes team unity and helps work on fundamentals through the drill, it promotes leadership among the students and promotes creativity, two things needed to win most basketball games.

#7 Redlight-Greenlight

This is a well known drill that everyone mentions, so let me be no exception. It works! This fun basketball drill improves your reflexes. Put a group of kids at the baseline but don't put them too closely together. Maybe 5 or 6 per cycle will be enough.

Every kid has a ball to dribble. When your say "green light" the kids will dribble forward. If you say "blue light" they'll go left. If you say "yellow light" they go right and red is to stop. This is to develop speed, reflexes and dribbling. First one across the line wins.

#8 Clap Pass

This one is a blast. First you get all the players circled around you. Then you pass the ball to random players in the group. The player must clap before they catch the ball. They sit out if:

.They don't catch the ball
.They don't clap
.They clap when you fake a pass to them

Fun Basketball Drills For Kids
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Use these all you want. Claim them as your own, copy them if you want, whatever. They're for all to try out. Know this however, you can't get the kids to a place of excellence with just these, you need a little more. That's where my link takes you. It's a program that will help you as a coach or parent bring along these kids to a greater understanding of the game of basketball and how to be great ball handlers. So anyway, I hope you enjoyed these Fun Kids Drills, and I hope that the program does for you what it did for us!

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License Plate Search - How to Trace License Plate Numbers Online

Do you have a license plate or license tag number and you need to find out the name and address of the owner of the vehicle? If so, you might have already realized that there is no free online database of license plate numbers.

Don't worry. There is still hope. If you need to conduct a reverse license plate number search online, below are several methods to accomplish your goal.

The first method is to hire a private investigator. Find your local phone book and turn to the private investigation pages. Start calling and get prices for how much they charge to run a license plate trace. You can expect to pay 0 to 0 to get this service completed in your local area.
The next method is to use a large online private investigation service like Abika.com or BestPeopleSearch.com. These services will charge you or more to search by license plate number. You will normally get back a combination of the following information: the first and last Name, address, registration and expiration date, make and model of vehicle, VIN number, title number, lien holder name. These services can normally get information for most states in the United States as Canadian Provinces. License plate data for additional countries are also available depending on the service.
The third option is to join a private investigation tools membership service where you have access to databases and resources used by private investigators. These memberships normally start at to per year and give you access to all sorts of people search databases used by private investigators. This is a good choice if you're willing to do the work yourself and you want to save a little money. The downside to this option is there is no guarantee that you will be successful in your search.As you can see from the options above, there is no such thing as a free reverse license plate search. About the only way you can get it done for free is if you know a law enforcement officer who will conduct the search for you (they have access to all of the databases).

License Plate Search - How to Trace License Plate Numbers Online

License Plate Search - How to Trace License Plate Numbers Online
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Need to Conduct Your Own license plate search? Visit http://InvestigateOnline.net/ for a comprehensive list of places where you can perform a reverse license plate search for the lowest prices.

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Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

A while back, a potential client provided me with some general details of the writing work he wanted me to do for his company. Then he asked me to send him a proposal.

Proposal?! I panicked as I tried to confirm with him what he meant by that since I had never done one before, at least not as a freelancer.

I must've not really wanted to pursue this opportunity since I didn't bother to do research or follow up with the company after submitting a contract instead of a proposal. A little time passed, I came across an article on writing RFPs (Request for Proposal). Ding! The light bulb went on. This guy verbally gave me his RFP and wanted a written response.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

When a company needs a project to be completed by a contractor or outside source, they write a RFP. This is a formal document describing the project, how the contract companies should respond, how the proposals will be reviewed, and contact information. Often, the company documents the submission guidelines to make it easier for them to compare responses. There are no specific standards or guidelines for creating the RFP, but government agencies usually strict standards they follow when conducting the proposal process.

Outside companies read the RFP and write a proposal (a bid) explaining how they can best provide and meet those needs. When writing the proposal, the company should closely follow the guidelines established in the RFP to avoid being removed from consideration for the potential project.

A typical proposal contains:

Executive summary - summary of the entire proposal Statement of need - why project is necessary Project description - How project will be implemented and evaluated Organization information Project schedule Budget Conclusion

My situation was an informal version of all this. The client gave me a high level overview of what I might do for him. If I knew then what I know now, I would've written up a description of the client's needs and how I would complete the work in meeting those needs.

Small businesses would likely do a proposal in between the one I got and the complex government required ones. Most small businesses will be prompted to write a proposal when approaching a client. The client may ask you to submit a proposal outlining what you can do for them. In this case, write a proposal including the elements of a typical proposal and keep it short and to the point especially if the client is not a large company.

There are examples of RFPs and responses peppered throughout the Web, but which one you can learn from depends on the type of work involved. A proposal can be two pages or as big as a book. Rely on your favorite search engine and do the research to create an unbeatable proposal.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)
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Meryl K. Evans, Content Maven, is Editor-in-Chief of eNewsletter Journal and The Remediator Security Digest. She's a slave to a MarketingProfs weekly column and a Web design reference guide at InformIT. She is the author of the popular e-report, How to Start a Business Blog and Build Traffic. Visit her site at http://www.meryl.net/blog/ for free newsletters, articles, and tips.

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How to Install a Manual Boost Controller Without Blowing Up Your Engine

Prior to installing any manual boost controller, it is important to have already added a high flowing exhaust and an aftermarket air intake/ air filter. This will ensure the car is able to breath, and will allow the turbo to spool easier.

It is imperative to have installed an aftermarket boost gauge. Most stock boost gauges are not accurate, even at stock boost levels, and lose further accuracy once stock boost is increased. Without an aftermarket boost gauge you risk damage to the engine from overboosting.

How It Works:

How to Install a Manual Boost Controller Without Blowing Up Your Engine

The wastegate actuator determines your stock boost levels. The boost controller interrupts the pressure line that runs into the wastegate actuator, allowing you to increase boost over stock levels.

Step 1:

Find your wastegate actuator which is usually attached to the turbo, unless you are using an external wastegate. The wastegate actuator will have a vacuum line port that runs to a boost source. The boost source is usually either the turbo's compressor housing, the intercooler pipes, or the intake manifold. This vacuum line is where the manual boost controller will be installed. If there is a T fitting in the vacuum line between the boost source and the wastegate actuator, it will have a separate vacuum line that runs to the boost control solenoid. If you have the T fitting, remove the line that runs to the solenoid, but leave the solenoid plugged in.

The barb on the boost controller that connects to the wastegate actuator will have a small hole drilled into it. It is important to leave this hole open, and never switch the wastegate barb and the boost barb.

Boost controllers typically come with approximately 3 feet of vacuum line that you can cut into 2 pieces of desired lengths. The first piece will connect from the boost barb on the controller to your boost source. The second piece will connect from the wastegate barb on the controller to the wastegate vacuum port. Tip: if you have difficulty sliding the vacuum lines onto the barbs, use a little bit of oil to lube the barbs. Block off any open boost sources with vacuum caps and use cable ties to secure all vacuum line connections. We recommend using Premium Fuel with all turbo cars, especially once you have increased your stock boost.

Step 2:

Now that the boost controller is installed, it's time to test the car. We recommend leaving the adjustment knob exactly where it was when you received and installed your MBC when you begin testing. Turning the adjustment knob clockwise increases boost, turning the adjustment knob counterclockwise decreases boost. This step is very important to keep an eye on your boost gauge to make sure you do not overboost and cause any damage to your motor.

Drive your car in an isolated area where you will be able to stop and go several times without interfering with traffic. Slowly press the gas and watch your boost gauge climb. If the boost gauge does not hit your target, increase the boost. If the boost begins to exceed your target, decrease the boost. Repeat the steps as necessary. It typically takes between 5 to 10 adjustments to get the boost exactly on your target. We recommend starting by adjusting the boost knob in 1/2 turn increments, and as you get close to your target you may need to make smaller adjustments. Never adjust more than 1/2 a turn at a time.

Each car has a maximum safe boost level, depending on upgrades to the vehicle and the characteristics of the fuel system, specifically how much fuel your pump and injectors can provide. It is important to research and know what the maximum boost level your specific car can safely run.

This guide serves as a basic starting point for manual boost controller installation. If you have an external wastegate or twin turbo vehicle, the installation technique may vary slightly.

How to Install a Manual Boost Controller Without Blowing Up Your Engine
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23 Strategies to Improve Your Website Traffic, Google Page Rank and Alexa Ratings

Are you looking for ways to increase traffic, increase your Google PageRank and decrease your Alexa Ranking? Listed below are 23 steps that will help you achieve this goal.

1. Content - It is all about the 3 C's - Consistent, Current, Content. Post at least 5 entries a week, if you consistently post information it also attracts new visitors and subscribers.

2. Press Releases - Send out a press release announcing the launch of your site. Any newsworthy item should also be considered for a press release. We recommend a site like PRLog.org, a free press release website. Occasionally, Google News will pick up a press release off this site if it is gaining interest after posting.

23 Strategies to Improve Your Website Traffic, Google Page Rank and Alexa Ratings

3. Facebook - Are you on Facebook? If so, you can set up an account for your site or create a fan page. Then invite your friends to join. You can tie in your RSS feed (new entries) so anyone visiting will see current information. When someone becomes a fan or friend you will reach their friends and gain more followers.

4. Twitter - We have seen lots of success with people that have used Twitter to network their site. Once you learn how Twitter works and the etiquette of networking you should find some success. The "tweets" you come across can inspire articles and form relationships. These relationships you build can result in posts to your site and a "guest" appearance. Your guest can provide information from an expert in the field and be a benefit to your readers.

5. Blog Catalogs - Sign up for Blog Catalogues, it just so happens that a popular one is actually called BlogCatalog.com. This can get your name out there and introduce you to other sites that you will find helpful.

6. Article Marketing - Many of your entries will make good topics for an article. You can edit your post to appeal to a larger audience and post it on that site. If you post good content it will result in views to your article and then clicks to your site.

7. Subscriptions - Provide your readers with an email subscription service for those that don't want to miss the most recent articles. You can sign up with a service, such as Feedburner, and have it set up to automatically check once a day for new content and send it out.

8. Email blast - Email all of your contacts to introduce them to your site. Let them know what beneficial information you provide. Ask them to visit your site and subscribe to your email updates and register. Ask for feedback, do they like the layout, the look and ask them to critique to help you improve your site. Then ask them to help you pass the word and email their contacts.

9. Social Bookmarks - Tag your best posts at sites like Digg, StumbleUpon and Technorati. Every time you have a tag out there, it is one more inbound link. Links to your site will improve your rating.

10. Trading links - Network with others that provide similar information and add a link to their site and ask them to link to you. You can also introduce them to your readers as someone you follow.

11. Alexa Widget - Add an Alexa widget to your site that shows your ranking. When you have this widget on your site it also improves your own Alexa ranking.

12. Default Home Page - Ask friends and family if they will add your site as their default home page on their computer. Every time they open their browser, it is one more hit on your site.

13. Forums - Find a few forums related to your site and post questions and answers. Add value to that community. Set up a signature page that you can use to sign out that includes your website.

14. Interlinking - As you add content to your site, link to other articles that you have already written that are similar. This allows people to find more articles on that subject that are on your site. Sometimes a visitor to your site may not find what they are looking for in the article they are reading, but the information may be in a related article and this leads them there. The longer a visitor stays on your site the better chance you have for them to subscribe or return to your site.

15. Site Map - Put together a site map and submitted it to Google, Yahoo and MSN. This site map includes all the blog entries as a separate page. The more pages you have on your site the more content you are providing which increases your standings.

16. Google Analytics - Use Google Analytics to track the page hits and number of visitors. Google Analytics provides reports that inform you of the most active pages, where your links come from and what keys words are being used in the search engines to find your site.

17. Keywords / Metatags - Each page on your site has a unique page description and a unique set of key words. While many pages use the same key word, no two pages have the same set. The key word list contains a long list of words related to information provided on your site. Make it a point to use those key words in your posts. This increases your keyword's density. According to Google, the greater your keyword density, the more relevant you are.

18. Guest Blog - Highlight other websites, articles, products and people on your site. This provides more content and links. This is a great way to provide your readers with access to experts in the field or wonderful products.

19. Contests - Provide giveaways and contests for your readers. This can attract many to your site. These giveaways and contests provide another opportunity for a press release and links to our site.

20. Logo / Branding - Have a logo that is memorable and eyecatching. One that distinguishes who you are.

21. Easy Links - Provide information on how others can link to your site and make it easy.

22. Kirtsy.com - This is a great site to find popular and relevant articles. Once you join kirtsy you can share articles that you find interesting and add them to their site. You can also add your best articles from your website. When you go to their home page you will see articles posted and in the green box, it shows you how many votes an article receives. The more votes an article gets the more popular it becomes and the more exposure it receives. This site can also be an indicator as to what is a popular topic.

23. ProBlogger - I found this site through networking on Twitter. He consistently provides great information to help you succeed in making the most of your site. Recently, he provided a 31 day challenge - 31 days to build a better blog. You can find this information at problogger.net.

A successful website or blog takes daily attention to finding what works and providing good content. It also succeeds when you build relationships with your readers and network with others. Try these 23 steps and see if you notice an increase in traffic and an improvement on your ranking.

23 Strategies to Improve Your Website Traffic, Google Page Rank and Alexa Ratings
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My Traffic Ticket Secret - If a Cop Doesn't Show Up to Court, You Don't Pay

Getting a traffic violation can be huge downer, especially if you think you haven't done anything wrong. Going to court to fight it can be intimidating, so many don't even try it. Well, have you ever wondered what happens if a cop doesn't show up to court for your ticket hearing?

You don't have to pay!

Traffic courts don't have the time or personnel to really try every case that is contested. Judges typically do a roll call at the beginning of the day and if a cop doesn't show up, that case is dismissed! You don't even have to defend your case!!

My Traffic Ticket Secret - If a Cop Doesn't Show Up to Court, You Don't Pay

Did you know that 25 to 40% of the time, officers fail to show up? With those odds, why wouldn't you at least try to fight your speeding ticket? If a cop doesn't show up to court, this is what happens:

All charges are dropped No points would be put on your license Your insurance premiums will not go up You don't have to spend money or time on traffic school

Well, what if the cop does show up? What then? What can you do?

Depending on the circumstances surrounding your ticket, there are many successful arguments and strategies that have been proven to work. One technique is requesting copies of the reporting officer's paperwork to see if there are any errors which would get your case dismissed.

Waiting to see if a cop doesn't show up to court isn't the only way to beat a ticket. Find out more at the link below!

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If a cop doesn't show up to court, your case is dismissed. Find out how!

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